Tomorrow I am highly considering redoing my entire desktop. Starting fresh.
Gonna try a few things first though, gonna strip down everything, most usb and start from scratch.
This will keep me busy. Sign of a new start. Therapy to move on. There will be shadows of the past, but this may be the restart that my life needs.
Weight: 325.6
House is going to get bad this weekend. My sister said to keep busy. I do have a list of things to do.
Going to try and go to casino tonight.
Side note, this was a draft I discovered Saturday, did not post. Back posting to Friday
Weight: 326.0
Unfortunately, I had to get back on ambien, because my sleep cycles are bad. I keep thinking of my friend, the house is unreal without him.
I found a new way to cope though, planning out some goals. I told me son, by May, if I can be under 270 and he is able to run, we should train for the Seattle Half Marathon.
We will see how that goes. We did have a family gettogether and was able to be in each other’s company.
Weight: 324.0
It has been a rough day with a missing soul in the home. Everyone left in the house is hurting emotionally. But at least Toto is not hurting physically, at the end he had diabetes, was bumping in to things and decline was speeding up.
The house is quiet, I was glad that my wife called in sick because it helped with the loneliness I was feeling.
Then my youngest son, still hurting himself, went to work because he needed the distraction. He also headed back to school after work.
I take solace that my wife has the next two days off, and when the weekend arrives my son will be back.
I myself tried to engage with work. But the pain is distracting, not just my own but my family.
We did make it through, and there is support, Monday when I am truly alone at home may be the worst. I am probably going to go in to the office.
An interesting note regarding my weight, I intentionally did not post yesterday to honor Toto. But I did weigh in at 322.4, last time I was that low was in late 2022 which is outside the current database. I marked yesterday as a milestone not for the weight though, but for my dog. I am leaving that milestone for him.
Cracking 320 before end of month is achievable, which makes cracking 310 before end of year achievable as well. That makes it possible to be running by March. Last time I was under 300 was when we went to the Philippines.
Today my weight went up a bit though, and it is actually a good thing. This super rapid weight loss is bad.
Weight: 322.6
Happened fast, this morning woke up to some vomit on the floor and pee with blood in it. My wife said it may be time. It was coming too, his diabetes, some eye infection, at least we got to all say goodbye.
So instead of waiting a week and seeing him suffer we decided to move up his date to tomorrow.
Tomorrow there will not be much of a post, but today, as tired as I was, wife came home early and she and I took Toto out for one last “pasyal.”
It was a good day, it was sunny, not too hot, leaves are starting to fall, but not all over the ground.
We drove out to Newcastle Beach, looped around Coulon Park a few times, then went around to Lake Washington, to Alki Beach and on to Issaquah.
He gets to eat whatever he wants, chicken nuggets, ribeye steak.
Tomorrow, no more pain, no more shots, he will be free and the healing can begin with the rest of us.
I went from 332.4 to what it today. That is a lot for 1 week. Nearly 10 punds.
Weight: 323.0
Last week was a rough week, got so much bad news. Tomorrow I need to get over it and start a new week.
Need to enjoy my time with my pet.
Put he may have a stay if he is healthy.
Weight: 372.2
One interesting artifact with the latest comcast upgrade was I could finally connect to my support server directly from my internal network.
Prior to the upgrade I had to ssh to my public server and go back in to my public facing server on my network.
With that ability, I could now set up a wireguard server that all my clients can meet up with.
Need to clean up the wireguard documentation though.
Regarding my dog, still up in the air, I talked with some family members and we all are following a wait and see.
Speaking of weight, looks like I am getting my appetite back which is a good thing.
Weight: 327.0
We celebrated my dogs birthday today, this is sad in that it will be his last. But we made it a good one, he had steak, a cake and extra food. Trying to enjoy the last few days with him. It is with irony that I scheduled his euthanasia date on his birthday.
As a distraction I did get some new toys.
That there is the GL.inet Slate AX, it replaces my GL.inet Opal router. It is faster, more modern, fully supports openwrt, WPS2 enterprise, and can be powered via USB C.
Which bring me to the USB C charger you see above, it has two USB A and two USB C it is meant to power my monitor, the router and the laptop.
Finally the thinkpad, I had it for a few weeks now, I reinstalled Windows 11 and got it working as a cloud laptop not connected to my domain.
Another thing I did was I imported as best I could all the weight recordings from this blog into a mariadb database and put into a grafana dashboard.
I have not been eating right on Monday when I got here from Hawaii I was 332.4 lost over seven pounds in 4 days.
Weight: 324.0
I think we have a plan now for his end of life. We decided that the day will be Tuesday Oct 21, 2025.
I am sad, for sure, it was a hard decision to make. It gives us a weekend to enjoy, his birthday is tomorrow and the next weekend to prepare.
No one can outrun time, it is trying to outrun the speed of light. But one thing that will not go away, is the memories in my heart. Tonight I plan to go to sleep early, so I can wake up early, and enjoy this weekend with him.
Weight: 324.8
