Finally got 10G to work on my network. But not without some hoops.
I got this Dell 10G card, apparently it is a Ethernet controller: Intel Corporation 82599ES, or an Intel X520-DA2 10Gb, apparently it is picky on what GBIC transievers that will work with it.
Found this post
http://people.binf.ku.dk/~hanne/b2evolution/blogs/index.php/2015/03/04/ixgbe-failed-to-load-because
And this Redhat post (which requires a login)
https://access.redhat.com/solutions/275333
Which talk about adding some flags to grub and bypassing the cards check to allow any GBIC to work.
But also found this post which changed the eeprom using nothing more than ethtool
Although I did the math (to make sure the correct but was set), it was verbatim
To check the value
ethtool -e eth1 | head
or
ethtool -e eth1 offset 0x58 length 1
The original value was fc and it needed to be fd (I did do the math, so if you are following the post, do your own math)
And the command to allow any gbic in the eeprom was
ethtool -E eth1 magic 0x10fb8086 offset 0x58 value 0xfd
It was awesome, it worked.
Now I can use freebsd (pfsense) and not worry about the GBIC
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