Toto’s Decline

Happened fast, this morning woke up to some vomit on the floor and pee with blood in it. My wife said it may be time. It was coming too, his diabetes, some eye infection, at least we got to all say goodbye.

So instead of waiting a week and seeing him suffer we decided to move up his date to tomorrow.

Tomorrow there will not be much of a post, but today, as tired as I was, wife came home early and she and I took Toto out for one last “pasyal.”

It was a good day, it was sunny, not too hot, leaves are starting to fall, but not all over the ground.

We drove out to Newcastle Beach, looped around Coulon Park a few times, then went around to Lake Washington, to Alki Beach and on to Issaquah.

He gets to eat whatever he wants, chicken nuggets, ribeye steak.

Tomorrow, no more pain, no more shots, he will be free and the healing can begin with the rest of us.

I went from 332.4 to what it today. That is a lot for 1 week. Nearly 10 punds.

Weight: 323.0

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New Week, Back to Work

Last week was a rough week, got so much bad news. Tomorrow I need to get over it and start a new week.

Need to enjoy my time with my pet.

Put he may have a stay if he is healthy.

Weight: 372.2

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Rebuilding Support Server

One interesting artifact with the latest comcast upgrade was I could finally connect to my support server directly from my internal network.

Prior to the upgrade I had to ssh to my public server and go back in to my public facing server on my network.

With that ability, I could now set up a wireguard server that all my clients can meet up with.

Need to clean up the wireguard documentation though.

Regarding my dog, still up in the air, I talked with some family members and we all are following a wait and see.

Speaking of weight, looks like I am getting my appetite back which is a good thing.

Weight: 327.0

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My Dog’s Last Birthday

We celebrated my dogs birthday today, this is sad in that it will be his last. But we made it a good one, he had steak, a cake and extra food. Trying to enjoy the last few days with him. It is with irony that I scheduled his euthanasia date on his birthday.

As a distraction I did get some new toys.

That there is the GL.inet Slate AX, it replaces my GL.inet Opal router. It is faster, more modern, fully supports openwrt, WPS2 enterprise, and can be powered via USB C.

Which bring me to the USB C charger you see above, it has two USB A and two USB C it is meant to power my monitor, the router and the laptop.

Finally the thinkpad, I had it for a few weeks now, I reinstalled Windows 11 and got it working as a cloud laptop not connected to my domain.

Another thing I did was I imported as best I could all the weight recordings from this blog into a mariadb database and put into a grafana dashboard.

I have not been eating right on Monday when I got here from Hawaii I was 332.4 lost over seven pounds in 4 days.

Weight: 324.0

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Saying Goodbye To My Dog

I think we have a plan now for his end of life. We decided that the day will be Tuesday Oct 21, 2025.

I am sad, for sure, it was a hard decision to make. It gives us a weekend to enjoy, his birthday is tomorrow and the next weekend to prepare.

No one can outrun time, it is trying to outrun the speed of light. But one thing that will not go away, is the memories in my heart. Tonight I plan to go to sleep early, so I can wake up early, and enjoy this weekend with him.

Weight: 324.8

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Slow Pain

I know I have not been healthy myself, with the knowledge of my dog is terminal and trying to accept his fate, I have not taken care of myself either. Since I got back I have not eaten much, not exercised, missed some of my meds, haven’t showered.

Definitely stressed out

Couple good things, silver linings if you will, Toto is eating, Toto finally pooped, my wife will be home with me and we got a comcast upgrade with faster connection.

Weight back under 330.

Weight: 328.2

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Incredible Sadness

Today at about 8:30AM, my daughter and I talked to the vet, and it she confirmed Toto’s diagnosis of Mucocele. What hit me hard was finding out he had at most 2 weeks to live. I didn’t really process what was happening till my daughter gave me his collar. I burst into full blown crying.

As I post I am still processing.

Cancelled a weekend getaway with my wife.

He was/is such a good thing for me. I think it is time to let go.

Coworker said this “Better a month early than a day late.”

I was going to post here on my dog, but I think he deserves an entire page.

I don’t feel like working out, at all. I need to get through this grief in a healthy way.

Weight: 330.6

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Internet On The Plane

One of the things that I finally experienced was having Internet on the plane. It was an unexpected pleasant surprise when I flew to Hawaii.

But going back, I am on the fence.

There was a scene in Star Trek Generations the movie where Picard gets bad news while out in space and wishes like the years before when sailors were disconnected from the news. I felt a little bit of that today. The news that my dog was confirmed with a fatal disease.

I remember getting the news and having to wait to get home.

Anyway, just doing pushups and situps, maybe even tomorrow, I am so emotionally drained with the news.

Weight: 332.4

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Devastating News

Got news that was eventually going to happen, found out my dog my not have much time left.

My Dog

He is y first pet as an adult, I feel he has lived a good life. I do hope the news is wrong, but I suspect I need to prepare myself.

I am on Maui now, got the news as I was flying interisland. Wish I was not on this trip.

I did get my fitbit goals, also seahawks lost and the fridge is failing again.

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Early Shutdown

Did my steps late again, got them done at a little past 7PM, and went into town.

Noticed things were mostly closed on a Saturday night. Pascua Store was open and I was able to get a drink.

Got bread right after that.

Molokai Burger was going strong but was gonna close at 9PM.

Family asked to visit and I went to their house at about 7:58 and they were asleep.

Early to bed this town.

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